Last week i got a call here in the office. A lady on the other end of the phone shared a story of how her nieces and nephews had no coats to wear as winter approached. Strange thing; in all of our conversations over the telephone she has never once called them her nieces or nephews, she always refered to them as "my sister's kids". i suppose on some levels it's more efficient to word it that way. After all "my nieces and nephews" is a whopping six syllables long whereas "my sister's kids" racks up a scant four.
She shared with me the story of how she went to her sister's on a cold morning last week and saw the four of them, "the sister's kid's", waiting for the bus wearing two sweaters a piece. Upon investigation she discovered that their mother, her sister, had done the best she could to keep her spawn warm and comfy in light of the fact that no coats were available for them. The plight of her kin-folk had so moved her that she spent the day calling various agencies and ministries looking for a way to keep the dear children from freezing to death this winter, all to no avail.
After sending her to other local groups i knew of, all of which were able to offer her no help, i agreed to help her out. So last night i went coat shopping, one hundred forty dollars in hand, one hundred forty dollars squeezed from the pockets of teenagers willing to help some kids stay toasty through the harsh and windy winter.
One thing became painfully apparent to me last night, that i am a man to the core. Let me explain; normally tasks like shopping for clothes for those in need gets delegated to one of my closest friends. She just happens to be, well a "she". It is a great joy for her to search out deals, to stretch our benevolence dollars as far as they will stretch, to hop from store to store, scouring over racks, tabulating just what 30% off really means in dollars and cents. i, on the other hand, felt not like a fish out of water, but more like a fish in mid-air. A fish out of water may still propel itself by flopping about, but a fish in mid-air is completely out of it's element. So there i was confused, i had not been more confused since i suffered a concussion in an ice skating accident years ago, wandering through stores, looking for coats. After passing the same rack for the fifteenth time a sales lady finally asked, "Do you need any help sir?" Pride got the best of me, "No, i'm just looking." What was i saying?!? i had been stricken by a flashing bolt of idiocy! Before she could escape i called out to her, "WAIT!, i.... uhhhhh... yeah i could probably use some help." i asked her where the little girls coats were at, she pointed to the rack directly in front of me with a look of incredulity, "Right here sir." She then proceeded to help me find the correct sizes with the kind of care that you may see a nurse use when feeding a severely mentally handicapped person.
i was very relieved to load the large swollen bags into my truck, shopping assignment complete. Why the ladies i know get pleasure out of such a draining experience is completely beyond my feeble understanding. i was very excited about delivering the goods this morning. Driving through the drizzling rain to the address i had been given, "You can't miss it, it'll be the trailer with the blue mini-van in front of it, I can't move it, because it won't move." Perfectly logical reasoning. i put my truck in park and made my way, bags in tow, through the rain and onto her front deck. Dogs barked in the background, i knocked on the door. "Man, it would be nice if she had a porch instead of a deck," i thought as i admired the "Happy Haloween" towel that was draped over her front door as a decoration. The door creaked open and there stood the person who possessed the voice i had been speaking to via Alexander Graham Bell's wonderful creation.
"Hi, i'm Tony," i said by way of very creative introduction, "i've got the coats for your...," i paused here, because this was the moment i realized she had never called them "nieces and nephews", "...ahhhhh, sister's kids"
"Thanks," she said as she relieved me of my burden and closed the door.
i stood there on her front deck, in a state of a kind of peculiar amazement. From the moment she first spoke to me on the phone till now, this was exactly what she had expected. She handled the whole situation like it was simply a business transaction. She took the coats the same way i may take, say, my paycheck. She said, "Thanks," the same way i say thanks for my check every Friday. Not "Thanks for doing this for me, i don't know how to express my gratitude for your generosity." But just, "Thanks." i mean it when i say thanks on payday, just like she meant it. But when someone does something charitable for me it's different. When my Dad showed up at my house with the title for my truck, which i was going to purchase from him but he decided to give to me as a gift, i said "Thanks" but it came out insufficient for the gratefulness i felt.
There i stood, in the rain, admiring her "Happy Haloween" towel draped over the front of her door as a decoration, realizing that i had just dealt with a pro. Honestly i didn't feel used or taken advantage of. The revelation that she was good at getting stuff for nothing wasn't shocking or offensive, it wasn't really humbling or disturbing, it was just true. Anyway we had bought those coats for "her sister's kids" not for her... or had i?
It makes me wonder, how many people have successfully made a career out of getting stuff for free? How many people are as thankful for the handouts they get as most of us are for our paycheck? How many people feel they have "earned" something for nothing? How often do i feel that way?
How many of us have developed that attitude about what Christ did for us? We say "thanks," and we mean it. But when you get a bona-fide hand out, and you really understand what it means, there is a deep seated humility in your "thanks." "Here I am to Worship"- arguably one of the best worship songs of our time says in the bridge, "I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross." Most of us sing that without much more than an attitude of payday thanks.
